Join Friends of Pambazuka

Subscribe for Free!

Fahamu Bulletin Archive

About our Programmes

Donate to Pambazuka News!

Follow Us

delicious bookmarks facebook twitter

Pambazuka News Pambazuka News is produced by a pan-African community of some 2,600 citizens and organisations - academics, policy makers, social activists, women's organisations, civil society organisations, writers, artists, poets, bloggers, and commentators who together produce insightful, sharp and thoughtful analyses and make it one of the largest and most innovative and influential web forums for social justice in Africa.

Latest titles from Pambazuka Press

African Sexualities

Earth Grab A Reader
Sylvia Tamale
A groundbreaking book, accessible but scholarly, by African activists. It uses research, life stories and artistic expression to examine dominant and deviant sexualities, and investigate the intersections between sex, power, masculinities and femininities
Buy now

Global NATO and the Catastrophic Failure in Libya

From Citizen to Refugee Horace Campbell
In this elegantly written and incisive account, scholar Horace Campbell investigates the political and economic crises of the early twenty-first century through the prism of NATO's intervention in Libya.
Buy now

Queer African Reader

Demystifying Aid Edited by Sokari Ekine, Hakima Abbas
A diverse collection of writing from across the continent exploring African LGBTI liberation: identity, tactics for activism, international solidarity, homophobia and global politics, religion and culture, and intersections with social justice movements. A richness of voices, a multiplicity of discourses, a quiverful of arguments. African queers writing for each other, theorising ourselves, making our ...more
Buy now

China and Angola

African Awakening A Marriage of Convenience?
Edited by Marcus Power, Ana Alves
This book focuses on the increased co-operation between Angola and China and shows that although relations with China might have bolstered regime stability and boosted the international standing of the Angolan government, China is not regarded as a long term strategic partner.
Buy now

How Europe Underdeveloped Africa

To Cook a ContinentWalter Rodney
Rodney shows how the imperial countries of Europe, and subsequently the US, bear major responsibility for impoverishing Africa. They have been joined in this exploitation by agents or unwitting accomplices both in the North and in Africa.
Buy now

Emerging Powers Digest: 14th Edition, 5 December 2014

In today’s newsletter the Emerging Powers project announces a call for grant applications; gives a summary of Zuma's travels to China and the signing of the 5-10 Year Framework on Cooperation between the two countries; highlights Ethiopia's budding textile industry and relations with China; India's growing investment presence in Africa; militarization of the continent by the emerging actors. The news digest also provides analyses and news reports on China's evolving foreign policy and diplomatic relations. Read these and other news items in this week's edition of the Emerging Powers in Africa news digest.

Call for Grant Proposals

The Emerging Powers in Africa Project is issuing a call for grant proposals. The grants are aimed at examining the political, economic, social and cultural impact of the emerging powers footprint in Africa. The grant is specifically related to empowering civil society actors in gaining the appropriate knowledge and developing the necessary tools to articulate an informed perspective on the emerging powers in Africa and the corresponding impact.


+ Read the Emerging Powers Digest

+ The Emerging Powers Project Homepage

Pambazuka News Broadcasts

Pambazuka broadcasts feature audio and video content with cutting edge commentary and debate from social justice movements across the continent.

See the list of episodes.


This site has been established by Fahamu to provide regular feedback to African civil society organisations on what is happening with the African Union.

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License.

16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence

"I" Stories: Breaking free and moving on


2008-12-03, Issue 410

Bookmark and Share

Printer friendly version

It was July 2006 when I met a certain guy. At first, he was everything to me but after just two months of moving in together problems began. I was only happy for a short period. He was an excessively jealousy and over protective man. He always accused me of having affairs with other man of which it was all wrong. He started beating me telling me that “I am bitch and cheap”. He beat me sometimes four times a month.

It was July 2006 when I met a certain guy. At first, he was everything to me but after just two months of moving in together problems began. I was only happy for a short period. He was an excessively jealousy and over protective man. He always accused me of having affairs with other man of which it was all wrong. He started beating me telling me that “I am bitch and cheap”. He beat me sometimes four times a month.

He started exhibiting strange behaviour. For instance, he would receive phone calls at midnight. When I asked him about it he would say it is not important. In September 2007 I began my fasting period. After two weeks of fasting, we began to fight and he told me to go to my boyfriend otherwise he was going to kill me.

So I ran off to my friend in Turffontein. The following day I went to meet with my boyfriend’s friend in Braamfontein. I waited for two hours but he would not open the door. Then I remembered that his friend had a hair salon and so I went there since I had nowhere to go. I found our friend’s younger brother who told me that his brother was there at home.

So, we went and knocked at the door and for sure his brother was there with my boyfriend and another girl. Because they were not expecting me, my boyfriend locked himself in the toilet. I asked the girl and she confirmed that she was with my boyfriend. She told me everything about how they met. This was a painful period because I was fasting. In retaliation, I took his wallet and cellphone. He started calling me and I continued to ignore him. After three days, I went back and that same day he beat me up.

I cried asking myself why, what I had done wrong to deserve this and asked the Lord to help me. I tried desperately to show him that I was not a prostitute like the one he thought. I cried and was even thinking of killing myself. He accused me of dating someone. I lost weight from a size 34 to size 28.

He would not even come near me for three months and slept away from the house. When he came home, he beat me up. He sometimes left me with no food in the house until I decided that I had had enough. I asked myself why I was not leaving. I left the house and went to stay with my friends in Turffontein, luckily, there was an unoccupied room and I took it up. I wanted to start a new life but my boyfriend started following me everywhere.

He would come to my place and if did not let him in he would break the door. This happened for two months. He would beat me up until I decided to call the police. The police never caught him red-handed because he would run away before they arrived. I stopped picking up his phone calls even though I still loved him.

Now I pray to God that He gives me strength to forget about him and God has answered my prayers. I am fine and I do not think I will go back to him again. Even if I do not have a job right now, I am fine.

If I knew then what I know now, I would not have gone to live with this man in the first place. However, it is never too late. I am happy I am moving on. I pray that every one who is going to read this story will think twice before jumping into a relationship before they get to really know the other person.

* Kalamauwa is not her real name

* This story is part of the “I” Stories series produced by the Gender Links Opinion and Commentary Service for the Sixteen Days of Activism on Gender Violence.

↑ back to top

ISSN 1753-6839 Pambazuka News English Edition

ISSN 1753-6847 Pambazuka News en Français

ISSN 1757-6504 Pambazuka News em Português

© 2009 Fahamu -