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African Writers’ Corner

Fat Cats

Marion Grammer

2009-07-09, Issue 441

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The two fat cats sat reading on the mat.
A Persian rug actually, but we won't go into that.
The Stock Market's up, they saw. Oh, what fun,
As their sleek black coats gleamed in the afternoon sun.

'Lyric, my mate', said cat one with a purr,
'scratch my back, just there, under the fur.
It's lasted a while, since 1994, this constant itch,
Which coincides incidentally with me getting rich, rich, rich.'

'You're wearing your diamond studded collar,
I see', said Kyoto. Did you perhaps pay top dollar?
'It was a bargain', said Lyric looking shifty,
'In the current financial climate you have to be nifty.'

'I rang my mate, old Nacker de Beer.
He said 'Look Lyric, everything's not as it may appear.
There's a storm brewing, the markets might tumble,
Don't cash in your shares yet, be ready to rumble.'

Kyoto's whiskers twitched, and he asked with a frown,
'Should we let them know the market's going down?'
'Who's them', meowed Lyric. 'You mean the unwashed?
Why, they're too stupid, they'll never have us sussed.

'Look at them, stretch your neck and you will see,
Those starving masses, they've never heard of BEE*
We've been out in the cold, in exile, for ever so long,
Now our financial masters are playing our song.'

A sound at the door made them prick up their ears.
They got up and stretched, exposing their rears.
'I think it's the boss, he's home early today.'
Said Lyric to Kyoto, 'Get ready to play.'

'Hello little pussies.' He enters the room.
'Had a good day boys?' his voice a loud boom.
He scratches their chins, his fat white hand lingers,
As he waves under their noses some golden fish fingers.

Now Lyric and Kyoto being nobody's fools knew,
That this was the moment, this was their cue.
They had to perform, to sing for their dinner,
Else their bank balances would surely get thinner.

They cleared their throats and puffed out their chests,
And prepared themselves for what they do best.

'Who wants to be a millionaire, we do.
'Who wants to be a billionaire, you do'.

* Marion Grammer was born in Cape Town, South Africa. She is an accountant and works for a Human Rights Advocacy Centre in Sydney, Australia. She writes fiction and occasional social commentary.
* Black Economic Empowerment.
* Please send comments to [email protected] or comment online at

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